You know

As in: You know you need to do laundry when you dream of finding an extra closet that is full of new underwear hanging on hangers. And it is the best dream you've had in a long, long time.

Drunk at Wedding

I got drunk, am still drunk, due to an open bar at a wedding that was not my own. People are in love, and joined, the world is beautiful. Blah. I think I might impale myself because I became rather chatty after four whisky and sodas and the pain in general that comes from overanalyizing my actions is about to consume me. Not to mention I ran into a girl I went to grade school with. Mind you grade school was when I was smart and responsible and sophisticated as opposed to lazy, cynical, and inebriated. So with that stab in the gut of my ego, I also discover two other folks who's Halloween party I crashed about a million years ago with my drug dealer friend. Art students at Webster who all got jazzed on Ecstacy and flopped all around their house. So much chronology shouldn't be in one room. I did make a friend, but she lives in Chicago and also I had fun with Ryan's friends which means I must have been drunk which also means maybe that I should have hung out with them more often when they were in town instead of being the shy pidgeon that I am. Also I smorked a stolen cigarette and a half which I said I'd stop doing, but apparently haven't. Glarg.
I'll try not to write too many more blogs drunk so the three to four folks who partake of my rambling don't have to suffer through the self-pity. I love you guys, really I do.

Hooked on Wheels

I blame Sarah Kate. I do. I've been minding my own business, sitting around chomping on carrots and biscuits and watching TV on DVD (sign of desperation: I've started Star Trek: The Next Generation, which I know, I know isn't a bad show because most of my friends can launch into insane discussions about Picard and his brother and Riker's inherent sluttiness and exactly what season the show got good as a result of costuming, but still I feel like a total geek. Star Trek in general is like entering another rung of geekdom. It obliterates Buffy and the X-Files and reading for fun and wearing glasses and working in a comic shop. I might as well just buy a synthesizer and start wetting the bed). But then, like some sort of beacon in the night Sarah Kate goes all roller derby crazy and the next thing I know I'm at the Rollercade navigating through figure roller skaters and tiny children in Halloween costumes. My feet are blistered and my knee is pinched, but I am certainly going back for more. There were many lovely ladies who were more friendly than I can ever manage. Soon, very soon, I will make creamed spinach of them all.

Occupations I've seriously considered in the past year

Barmaid
Waitress
Sommelier
Restaurateur
Pastry Chef
Mechanic
Librarian
Illustrator
Teacher
Porn Reviewer
Lawyer
Paralegal
Film Student
Television Writer
Comic Book Artist Writer
Magazine Journalist
Copy Writer
Fundraiser/Grant Writer
Postal Worker
Meter Maid
Bus Driver
Courier
Beautician
Wedding Planner (despite my lack of ability to plan my own)
Printer
Drug Addict
Motivational Speaker
Park Ranger
Travel Agent
Insurance Salesman

Hmmm...

Hmmm...
Originally uploaded by BozAphra.

I was very disappointed when I wasn't named Pope this go round. I mean, I've been minding my Ps & Qs for some time now; you think there'd be some sort of reward.

JPII thinks so too. I ran into him in London. I don't know why he doesn't opt for some more cozy clothes now that he's abdicated by dying and all. I bought him some gelato and a pair of sweatpants to encourage him to kick back. "Relax, man. Your job is done." He inhaled the gelato, but couldn't seem to part with the vestments. Which I suppose I can understand. After all, I'm hoping to get into them myself.