Para Kristophe

Missed Connections

I am obscenely drawn to personals, with their strange alphabet filing systems. I like the whole 'I'm holding and B, an M, and a N/S, what have you got to make my hand stronger?' structure. Of course, my favorites are the missed connections, and the most satisfying missed connections are on Craigslist. Because there is no need for newspaperlike word-economy, writers etch in even more of the story, using specifics like "You were eating pie" or "I think I would be good for you" or at least sparing a few extra T's to demonstrate that she thought you were really really hotttttt. The most perverse thing about the ads is that you get very specific locations, for example the Target at Elm and Watts in the dishsoap aisle. Because Craigslist is organized by city, I can click on St. Louis or Columbus and search for places I recognize. Yesterday as I was perusing I noticed one that said something like Katzinger's, Sunday at 2. I was at Katzinger's only hours before! Had we just delayed our meal a few hours I might have spotted a "connection" in real life! It was with this entry that I realized my mission, as vague and impossible as it is... I HAVE to be on location for one of these. A fly on the wall of one person's obsession, to witness the spark that buries him in a pile of silky hair or chokes her with a pair of black eyeglasses. I find this sort of attraction so far removed from my realm of experience that I have to see it for myself. Is there some magnetism between two strangers that is inexplcible, or is it merely a game of wanting what you can't ever have again--a moment in which you saw a certain future happiness for yourself through the lens of another? I have the feeling the answer is yes, and yes, and an extra yes for causes I have neglected to mention. All I know is that I want to witness it for myself, just once. So I know.

NEW LOOK PENDING

I got very tired of the primary color scheme of my former template, this obnoxious starry thing is subbing in until I can figure out what I want to do. Sorry for the flux!

Inspired by the SK8

I tried to resist it. I did, but I'm so in love with myself I couldn't not TEST YOU ALL...

On and on

So I was waiting outside Cup O' Joes for Ryan (I still had a cup from my favorite deli, Katzy's), two sparrows were attacking each other. I've been witness to all sorts of animal violence before, but something struck me about these two bitty little birds chomping down on each other, duking it out on the sidewalk in front of the Book Loft. Of course, I wanted to etch in an entire backstory for the tusslers--complete with generations of abuse and sibling rivalry, a few cracked eggs due to...I don't know what because what it comes down to is they're birds and thus are instinctual and it doesn't really matter what they were fighting over because at some point it just becomes fighting for fighting's sake.
I know that those who have this natural fury have to struggle with its aftermath. But in so many ways I envy those who scrap, who feel something so much it can only be released through a torrent of action. I've always been so level-headed, so hands folded neatly in lap about any disturbance that I often feel I haven't lived fully. I think this is why I do derby. And I think this is why I'm always trying to instigate 'wrasslin'' with my pacifist husband (when I do engage him, it's over in a matter of seconds, he could crack me like a pinata). I spend so much time in my head finding rational explanations and approaching situations with plans of action instead of fists of fury that sometimes it feels good to just get knocked down, to not have time to use anything but instinct. I spent my entire childhood with a peace sign carved into my hand, playing mediator to everyone and flinching at the smallest act of violence. But now, as when I see two birds pecking at each other or even a derby girl get a little too worked up, I watch with curiosity and respect for a drive I probably will never know.

I cannot wait to move out of our temp housing. It's very nice with many amenities Free coffee! 24-hr gym! but as we live in OSU territory, there are several students/new grads living here. I never had the dorm experience, I never really wanted the dorm experience, and if I have to see/hear one more group doting over their a shot away from alcohol-poisoning friend, I might just disprove the above paragraph. Especially if it's at three in the morning. Learn how to hold your liquor and learn how to walk away from a bar on your own two feet. I lived behind a bar for a year in St. Louis (near a University too) and I have never seen so many people so limp with drink. The end. Tossing out the soapbox now.

Some Stuff

So I had my first real derby scrimmage with the team tonight. I love love love it, but well I'm less than good. It's hard for me because my strongest athletic feats have always been races which are pretty much balls out without a lot of thinking. Derby brings the brain into it, and suddenly I need to be timing hits, helping my jammer (read; scorer) through the pack while keeping an eye out for the other team's jammer all while taking abuse from the girl next to me. It's hard as fuck. I actually think I'm going to end up being pretty good because I can definitely take a hit (less solid on the making hits), I'm able to pick up speed and get in front of jammers, and in general I feel like I'm already a lot more calculating than some of the other players. In some ways that slowed me down tonight, but I'm going to keep my brain in it until those kind of decisions are ingrained. I got to jam, which honestly I love because you have so much more control over what's going on, but I'm still too slow. My speed is picking up again, but the new team is faster than ARRG (at least when I left) so I still have a way to go. Basically I want to be good at every position, which means I have to get a lot a lot a lot better than I am now.
Also I officially nabbed the library position. I start Tuesday. But that's less exciting than derby.

Librarian April?

I might finally be fulfilling my destiny of working in an official library. I had my interview with the mega-library here in town for a position at one of their branches (close to our soon to be townhome) which went so well I got shipped over to that branch for an interview with the the head librarian there. I think it went well (in general if I can land the interview, I can land the job). I've had my interview outfit picked out for a month now, but when I put it on today it looked really frumpy and ill-fitted. The only thing that did look right was my maroon librarian-esque dress that sort of makes me look like a parody (albeit a chaste one) of a naughty librarian (more like the librarian who might play roller derby to AC/DC vs. the librarian who might pole dance). Needless to say I wore my glasses and worked the look.
The branch I interviewed at was tiny tiny, but I think I could be successful there. I'd really like to work at the main branch eventually though because it is a Carnegie builing and therefore chock full of gorgeous marble staircases. And I could pretend the basement stacks were haunted with snot covered card catalogues and a three quarter full-bodied apparition.
When asked why I wanted to work in the library I said it was because I felt well-suited for the work, but my answer should have been, "I watched Party Girl a lot."
Awkward silence.
"I mean, A LOT."
Christ I'm as bad as my husband. `cept I don't collect replicas, I just make my life a replica. Who's crazier? I'll never tell.
Speaking of husbands, he finally posted a new blog. You should go read it. He's actually happy!

Nothing Ever Happens in Blaine

I think I could make this a very exciting blogsite, but to do that I would have to lie to you. I've been waved away from lying as supposed truth by Annie Dillard (maybe it's Anne Lamott, or maybe Anne Lamott writing about Annie Dillard, fuck if I can keep it straight) and a few personal essay teachers. Apparently lying can make for a fetching story, but if your readership finds out they become deflated/feel betrayed/want to kill you (see: James Frey--still a great book in my opinion, but I live my life believing that everyone is falsifying their existence to amuse me). See I try to punch things up sentence-wise, but it all comes out boring-boring and with the punched up sentences, somewhat indecipherable. Bleh. The fact of the matter is, I want to blog because I'm bored--but there's nothing to blog about because I am boring.
For example, a list of things I did today:
Ate the last donut for breakfast
Drove around Columbus
Watched the last episode of Angel (finally)
Made a mini-pizza
Ate a mini-pizza (the very one I had just baked)
Pretended to do floor exercises (I never know what the hell I'm doing)
Caught up on celebrity exploits/fashions on the Internet (less maddening than keeping up with political exploits)
Made coffee
Drank coffee
Surfed the Internet
Watched the Gilmore Girls
Watched Golden Girls
Pretended to do more floor exercises (slightly more successful)
Made pasta
Ate pasta
Walked with Ryan to Kroger
Walked back from Kroger
Ate ice cream
Watched American Dad (not the biggest fan, though admittedly I laugh at some stuff)
Went to gym
Did gym things longer than normal because Futurama came on in the middle and I had to finish out the episode
Took shower
Surfed Internet
Started to 'blog'
Um, yeah...

I know most blogs are just the random snot of boring people such as myself, but Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, it'd be nice if I could find interest in something other than myself long enough to wax philosophical about. Feel free to suggest a topic or seven, if I know nothing about it I can use Wikipedia and form a half-assed opinion.

It's Princess Disgrace, by the way...#31. And I'm still verrry slow and out of shape.

And what just might be the ONE courtesy Hedda Crusher

Princess Disgrace

New Contender Courtesy Yi

Baberham Lincoln

(I'm in love with it)

Stepping-Up The Name Search

My new team leans heavily on skate names so her's some of the ones I'm thinking (yeah I know most of these are old hat):

Powder Keg
Quatro
Twitch Firebird
Tippy Trackburn
the Arsenal
and because Ryan's so proud of them::
Killow Rosenberg
Breathless Maulhoney (I love that he came up with something for this, but I think Breathless is a little too apt to be a negative considering the shape of my lungs)

I'll keep listing `em until I find THE one